Banana Bread With Icing and Cinnamon #killer

What you will need

• 2 cups flour
• 3/4 tsp baking soda
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1  tsp cinnamon
• 1/2 cup light brown sugar
• 4 Tbsp (1/2 stick) unsalted butter, softened to room temperature
• 2 large eggs
• 3 mashed very ripe banana 
• 1/3 cup vanilla greek yogurt (use Chobani Vanilla)
• 1 tsp vanilla extract

Cinnamon Swirl

• 1/4 cup sugar
• 1 tsp cinnamon

Icing

• 1/2 cup powdered sugar
• 1 Tbsp heavy cream (or half-and-half or milk)

Preheat oven to 350F. Spray a 9×5-inch loaf pan with cooking spray. Set aside.

In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, baking soda, salt, and cinnamon. Set aside.  In a separate large bowl, beat the brown sugar and butter with a mixer on medium speed until well blended – about 1 minute. Add the eggs one at a time, beating well after each addition. With a wooden spoon, stir in the mashed banana, yogurt, and vanilla.  Slowly add in the dry ingredients. Do NOT overmix.  Batter will be thick.

Spoon half of the batter into the prepared loaf pan.  Sprinkle with cinnamon-sugar swirl ingredients.  Top with remaining batter. Bake for 40-45  minutes or until a wooden pick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool 15 minutes in the pan on a wire rack. Remove from pan and cool completely on the wire rack.

While the bread is cooling, make the glaze in a small bowl by combining the powdered sugar and heavy cream.  Add more powdered sugar until you reached desired thickness.  Drizzle over banana bread.

Mom's Christmas Spritz Cookies #recipes

Mom's Christmas Spritz Cookies

1 cup softened butter
2/3 cup sugar
3 egg yolks
1 tsp. vanilla or almond extract (I recommend using almond!)
2 1/2 cup flour

1.  Using mixer, cream butter, sugar, egg yolks and extract

2.  Add flour to mixture a bit at a time until combined.

3.  Put dough through cookie press

4. Bake at 400 degrees, 7-10 minutes until set, not browned.

Enjoy!  Merry Christmas!

#writersblock

Ride The Midway #GreatMNGetTogether

I was 13 years old and prone to motion sickness. Undaunted, I rode the Tilt-A-Whirl. Soon after, I leaned over a small fence behind the Round-Up and threw up. As I did, my attention was drawn to a treasure trove of coins, dollar bills, jewelry, sunglasses, etc., in the grass -- personal effects lost by midway thrill riders. I reached for a dollar bill, then quickly snapped my hand back when the pointed cowboy boot of a Royal American Show worker stepped on the bill.

The worker told me I couldn't pocket the stuff back here, but I could spend the dollar at his booth. I followed him to a booth where you break plates with baseballs. Wiping clammy sweat from my forehead, I took a baseball and threw it. The ball miraculously smashed a plate, sending glorious ivory shards against the battered aluminum wall. I expected to have two more tosses, but the carnie took away the remaining baseballs and retrieved a huge teddy bear from the ceiling. He handed it to me and told me to check out the bear's pocket when I left the midway. There I found a fresh piece of spearmint gum and a dollar bill.

Susan M. Gulden, Plymouth

Published in the Minneapolis Star Tribune, August 17, 2001

A Spricket Named Spencer #ew

Do you know what a spricket is?  Even though I am about to embark on a blog about sprickets, I am not even completely sure what one is.  Hold on a sec, while I go to Google and Wikipedia to look the subject up. Before I do that, though, I came across this picture on Facebook this morning.

Right on!  I did college without a word processor!  I did calculus with only a Texas Instrument calculator.  It had flashy, red, digital numbers.  And, I had a social life without texting, Facebook or Twitter.  So you’d better respect your grandparents as well.  If they were lucky enough to finish high school and go to college, they went without a typewriter and without a Texas Instrument calculator.  They did some good, old-fashioned  book learnin’.  They used an abacus, a slide rule and did a lot of comparing between apples and oranges.  You wouldn’t be sitting here reading this blog, if they didn’t have a social life. 

Now I’ve completely gone off track.  Do you know what a spricket is?  Hold on…….

Ok, got it – here is a picture of one. Ew, right?

There is even a Facebook page for Spricket Haters. I see that my daughter Jacey, is a fan. That’s a little bit surprising since Jacey claims that there is one that lives in her house in Bloomington, Indiana.  She tells me that his name is Spencer.  She tells me Spencer does not pay rent.  Who knew?  Spencer and Jacey have something in common. 

So where am I going with this?  It’s hard to keep on task when you’re writing your first blog.  I wanted to point out that I had never heard of sprickets before Jacey moved to Indiana.  I always thought of myself as knowledgeable when it came to common critters, being a Minnesotan and all.  They are probably common up here for all I know.  I hope not. 

According to Wikipedia:

The orthopteran family Rhaphidophoridae includes the cave weta, cave crickets, camelback crickets, camel crickets, spider crickets(sometimes called "criders, or sprickets"^{[citation needed]}) and sand treaders, of the suborder Ensifera; in some regions, such as Missouri and Virginia, these crickets are referred to as "Cricket Spiders"^{[citation needed]}. Those occurring in New Zealand, Australia, and Tasmania are typically referred to asweta. Most are found in association with caves, animal burrows, cellars, under stones, in wood or in similar environments. They are characterized in part by their long antennae and legs. They may be found on all continents and many continental islands, though Africa has but one species and that is confined to the southern Cape region. The well-known field crickets are from a different superfamily (Grylloidea) and only look vaguely similar, while members of the family Tettigoniidae may look superficially similar in body form.
[edit]Description

Camel cricketCave crickets have very large hind legs with "drumstick-shaped" femora, and long, slender antennae. The antennae arise closely and next to each other on the head. They are brownish in color and rather humpbacked in appearance, always wingless, and up to two inches/5 cm long in body and 10 cm (4 inches) for the legs. The bodies of baby crickets may appear translucent. As the name implies, cave crickets are commonly found in caves. However, most species live in other cool, damp situations such as in wells, rotten logs, stumps and hollow trees, and under damp leaves, stones, boards, and logs. Occasionally, they prove to be a nuisance in the basements of homes in suburban areas. Some reach into alpine areas and live close to permanent ice — the Mount Cook "flea" and its relatives in New Zealand.
Their distinctive limbs and antennae serve a double purpose. Typically living in a lightless environment, or active at night, they rely heavily on their sense of touch, which is limited by reach. While they have been known to take up residence in the basements of buildings, many cave crickets live out their entire lives deep inside actual caves. In those habitats they sometimes face long spans of time with insufficient access to nutrients. To avoid starvation, they have been known to devour their own extremities, even though they cannot regenerate limbs. Given their limited vision, cave crickets will often jump towards any perceived threat in an attempt to frighten it away. Although they look intimidating, they are completely harmless.[1]Cave and camel crickets are of little economic importance except as a nuisance in buildings and homes, especially basements. They are usually "accidental invaders" that wander in by mistake from adjacent areas. They generally reproduce indoors, especially in situations that provide continuous dark, moist conditions, such as a basement shower or laundry area, as well as organic debris to serve as food.The group known as "sand treaders" are restricted to sand dunes, however, and are adapted to live in this environment. They are active only at night, and spend the day burrowed into the sand, to minimize water loss. In the large sand-dunes of California and Utah they serve as food for scorpions.

So, did you read it?  I didn’t.  Not all of it, anyway.  Did you touch the spricket pictures?  I didn’t.  (I never, ever touched the pictures of snakes in the World Book encyclopedia either.  Never.  Ever.)  


The bottom line is that sprickets are some mutant spider/ cricket combo, and I don’t want any part of that meal deal.  The one thing that I want you take away from this blog is that these humped- back aliens have a skillful self-defense mechanism.  It’s downright nasty.  If you see one, and you try to shoo it away or smash it with a Glamour magazine, it will jump toward YOU to frighten YOU away.  Oh sure, they are completely harmless, but so are night crawlers and garter snakes and aphids.  Harmless to your psyche?  Don’t be fooled. 

Jacey lives in an old Victorian home in Indiana where Rhaphidophoridae thrive in her basement and laundry room.  This can only be described as scary.   The basement is scary for obvious reasons, and the laundry room for the sheer number of bras and thong underwear strewn on the floor, the washer and the laundry tub water spigots.  She has five female roommates (congratulations to all who recently graduated from Indiana University). 

I think Bloomington, Indiana is somewhere along Tornado Alley.  I think Minnesota is too.  At least the cities of Fridley, or Anoka, lie in the Minnesota alley. 

For crying out loud, how do I keep getting away from the subject here?  This is not easy, gentle reader.  Stay with me. 

Anyway, I know that severe weather is common in Indiana.  Jacey’s house has a storm cellar.  It’s outside of the house and has those big doors that open up from the ground.  It is a Wizard of Oz bunker.  I was relieved to know that her house had a cellar before she moved in.   Recently, there was a tornado outbreak down there and I checked in with Jacey to make sure she was headed for shelter.  “Are you heading to your cellar, Jacey?,”  I asked.  “No, Mom, I’m fine, I’m at a neighbor’s house,” she calmly replied.  “Why not the basement or the cellar room at your house?,”  I asked.  I half expected her to reply that their basement was so ‘boring,’ and that the neighbors (senior frat boys) just decided to start a party now that five beautiful girls magically showed up in their living room. 

“Mom, I’d die of total fright if I had to go down our cellar. There’s a million sprickets down there, and they would just jump on me.  I’d rather die in a tornado.  Besides, I’m not gonna die in a tornado, because I can just go over to the neighbors,” she explained. 

Silly girl, I thought. 

Until, I visited her house. 

After a tour of the house, I asked to see the storm cellar.  There is a kind of rural charm to them, right?   I mean, people are actually building them again after the rash of tornado outbreaks around the country.  I wanted to see it.

Jacey pulled up the weathered wooden doors, surrounded by tender hostas, bright daisies and vibrant irises.  The Indiana sun flooded the cement walls and stairs with daylight.  The walls and stairs were literally pulsing with sprickets as big as my hand.  (I have large hands.  You need to know this). 

We were looking down into the mouth of hell. 

We screamed.  We slammed the doors shut.  We reviewed her alternate storm plan. 

She graduated with honors from the IU school of Journalism that day. 


Smart girl, I thought.  I am so proud of her. 

I am not a talk show host.  I am not a celebrity or a reality star.  I’ve never been on Leno or Letterman.   I am real, and I am a housewife, but not a Real Housewife.  Do you get what I’m saying?  I am nobody.  Well, of course, I am not nobody.  I am somebody.  I must be.  You’re reading this blog, right?  Maybe you’re reading it on an IPad or a Kindle or some sort of e-reader.  I love my Kindle.  Actually, I would prefer that you were reading this in hardback or paperback book form.  On a crowded airplane, in a middle seat.  Then your seatmates would ask what you’re reading.  And you could tell them, thereby spreading the news that this book is really good and really funny.  I haven’t read Fifty Shades of Grey yet.  But, I can tell you, when I do, I will be reading that on my Kindle, because you don’t want to share with anyone that you’re reading it.  It might be awkward, unless of course, your seatmate is really hot, and you’re single.  

You get the picture.

So if I’m not a talk show host, a supermodel, a politician, a doctor, a Kardashian, a scientist, a nutritionist, a vet, a plumber, a baker, a tribute, Beyoncé, a pilot, a first lady, a UPS driver, a juggler, an Oscar winner, a knitter, a bridge player, who am I?  I am somebody.  And guess what, gentle reader? (I want to make sure that got into my first blog), I am a lot like you.   We do great and awesome things.  

I am really nobody, but I am totally somebody.  I am a 50-year old woman, who always wanted to write a book.  I never thought I could.  I was born in 1961, in Minneapolis, Minnesota.  I have lived in Minnesota my entire life.  I have been married 26 years to my best friend, Kevin.  I have two daughters, Jacey and Madison.  More on family stuff later.  My point is I have not been on the cover of People Magazine, although it’s on my bucket list.   I can’t think of any life event that would land me on the cover, but it would be cool. 

So what’s the blog about?  What’s in it for you?  I hope that it makes you laugh.  Maybe it will make you cry.  Don't worry.  When things get super sad, some aspect of the situation always ends up being kinda funny.  Again, I am a lot like you.  Our lives are radically different, I get it.  But we are both human beings, right?    And, I have it all figured out.  The answer to life, that is.  Really!  Seriously!.  You’ll get the answer soon.  My future blogs of random stories will shed the light.  Wow.  The crazy thing it is so damn simple.  So just stop reading for a moment.  You would slide a bookmark in, if this was a book.  Or simply turn off your e-reader.  Lean back in your chair. (I doubt you are standing while you’re reading this.  If you are, that’s pretty cool.  You must be on a crowded train or something).  Okay, so back to leaning back in your chair…..close your eyes, take a deep breath, pretend to  hold a book to your heart and say “I’ve got all the answers right here.”  If your dog suddenly lifts his head and looks at you, or your seatmate turns to you and says “Huh?,” say “Yeah, I’ve got all the answers right here.”  Tap your laptop or e-reader with your index finger, and nod knowingly. 

Wink if you’re feeling particularly confident. 

Before I get started, because this is my first blog, I want to get right to the part where you thank people.  Of course, at this point, I can’t thank my editor and publisher, because I don’t have one.  I am just sitting on a stool at my kitchen counter with my laptop clicking away.  I wonder if I will ever finish this?   Anyway, I am not thanking anyone in any particular order.  I want to thank Kevin for buying me this sweet laptop.  I want to thank my sister Wendy, because she always said I could and should write a book.  I want to thank my sister, Karen, because she is my great pal. Of course, I would be remiss if I didn’t thank my daughter Jacey.  She just took a quick read through this, and groused because I didn’t thank her in the initial pass.  So here you go, Jacey.  You bring so much silly joy into my world.   I would also like to thank everyone else I have encountered in my life.  You are the little squares of cloth that make up the quilt that is me.  You know who you are.  And I thank you for being you.